SIMPLIFYING AND UNDERSTANDING LOVE LANGUAGES

To begin with, what is love language? In simple words, it is the action of expressing “how you love” and “how you want to be loved”. 

Relationships most times is a ‘juicy’ topic to always come across, which reveals how important love and friendship is to us. It is then very crucial that we understand ours and our partner’s love language. In cases where you are not exactly sure what your love language is, you need to be more aware and attentive to your partner’s needs because they tend to be your mirror to understanding and revealing what your love language could be. Being single or married has little to do with whether you need to feel loved or not! Everyone has a human desire for wholesome and unconditional love in all relationships. 

There are officially five(5) ways to express and receive love; through Acts of service, Physical touch, Words of affirmation, Receiving gifts and spending quality-time together. Each of these is important and expresses love in its own way. Learning yours and your partner’s primary love language will create a stronger bond in your relationship. How do you identify your love language? In some cases, what you think is your love language could turn out not to be so, it could be those little ‘acts’ that your partner provides you with, and then you realize you tend to enjoy how they reveal and express love to you not withstanding your own definition and expression of ‘love’.

Communicating your love language in relationships is very important because it reveals how you constantly tend to respond to your partner. Never mistake what you enjoy to do with imposing it on your partner, the fact that your love language could be the simple act of receiving gifts, wanting maximum attention to yourself, you need to be attentive enough to sense the probability that your partners love language could be the little acts of service you render to them.

We’ll have an in-depth look into each of the love languages and what they entail.

1. QUALITY TIME: Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention. It could be just the two of you sitting on the couch, phones away, looking and talking to each other, having a personal moment for yourselves. It could also be going on a road trip, date night, taking a walk or running errands together while being fully present. For some people spending quality time is their love language and they feel less loved without experiencing such. 
2. PHYSICAL TOUCH: Physical touch is a nonverbal love language that people use to let others know they are cherished. It could be a sense of feeling as little as holding hands, massages, cuddles, rubbing their back and random hugs and kisses. The physical nature of this language leads some to think it’s simply about satisfying sexual needs, but desiring physical touch is usually more about feeling seen and safe than it is about sexual intercourse.  
3. ACTS OF SERVICE: Acts of service is a language best described as doing something for your partner without having to be told to do so. It could be household chores, cooking dinner, clearing the table after a meal, assisting with the dishes, running errands, etc. When you render acts of service, you give up time. Believe me, for some people this language best explains their love sign.  
4. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: Words of affirmation is expressing affection through spoken words such as “I love you,” “thank you,” “you are so thoughtful,” “I appreciate you,” “you are beautiful,” and also random love notes and text. People whose love language is words of affirmation are often sensitive and aware of their surroundings. They are the encouragers who know just what to say to make others feel better. And, they are hoping you can do the same for them. 
5. RECEIVING GIFTS: receiving random flowers, gifts for no occasion and paying attention to what they want. If your partner’s love language is receiving gifts, each present you give them is perceived as an expression of true love. And also for relationships heading towards marriage, receiving gifts plays an important role in your partner’s life. 

Can I have more than one language? People often ask and I will say “It seems to me that two of these languages are just about equal for me.’’ Simply, Yes! You can have more than one love language. But most people have a primary love language, a secondary love language and then the other three fall in line after that. 

WHAT LOVE LANGUAGE ARE YOU MOST RESPONSIVE TO?

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